My First Foster Care Placement | My Life Stories

So after the traumatic experience of going into foster care and in my placement with Sally and Pete. (Going Into Foster Care – Li Jean-Luc Harris) I will now explain to you what happened as I moved into my first foster placement.

The First Night in my First Foster Placement

My mum and I met with Sally and Pete, Plus my social worker, and discussed the placement.  I remember crying. I had been told many stories. That even to this day, I am not sure existed from a friend of my father‘s.

We discussed rules, and routines, as well as medication and health (Read A Medicated Mess), and then I, said my last goodbyes to mum as we parted ways. I took my belongings to my room and went straight to sleep.

3 Months Into My First Foster Care Placement

I got on well with most of the other foster children. We played video games did activities, and I gained a lot of trust and respect for a few. However, we also bickered a lot and clashed. We all had our own stories and issues.

But I started to realize that I was being treated differently, small things like rewards and the way others were spoken. Furthermore, the attitude that Sally Had with regard to me being a “Temporary Placement.”

It also became apparent to the foster carers that I had an issue with bedwetting, one that would not go away, not with medication or therapy. Furthermore, one that still plagues me to this day is when I drink too much before bed. My deep sleep causes it, and my brain is not recognizing the signals I get telling me that I need to piss. It has got a lot better over time, but we had started therapy and medication to counteract the issues.

Going Into Summer School

The picture I used as the thumbnail was my photo from when I started Secondary School. Honestly, do I look like Harry Potter… it was a common joke around that time lol.

Summer School for me was hell; I did not cope very well at all. My mental health had started to kick in, I had returned to self-harming, “the thing happened once again,” and there was lots of bullying. My foster carers at the time thought it would be a good thing for me,  but all it did was hurt me more.

6 Months Being In Foster Care

At this point, things turned for the worse. Some scared me emotionally, and others made me afraid and questioning my own identity. The second one has never been spoken about before until today. there were two main contributors to this, and I am going to split them up accordingly

Being Excluded From a family Holiday where everyone but me was allowed to attend

Sally and her family, Plus the other foster children, were going on holiday. To Portugal, apart from me, I was told my issues and behaviors were not “suited,” and she refused to take me for those reasons. I would not have wanted to go. Nevertheless, I was not given an option. I was told bluntly there is no chance because you were insulting and upsetting me. when looking back, I realized even more that I was being mistreated compared to everyone else

Realising And Admitting I’m Gay

if you read my blog post “Growing Up Gay,” there are two things I get asked about a lot.

1. How did you know you were gay, you were only 10? – If I am honest, I was somewhat aware I was not attracted to woman from an even earlier age. But ten was when I Knew
2. How did you know? Because I realized for the first time, it was men I was attracted to, as I had my first crush on a guy.

“Okay Li, thanks for filling in the gaps, but you said you had something to tell us that you’ve never mentioned before.”

Correct, I do. When I was 10, I came out as gay. in front of my foster family, the other children did not seem to respond much. But Sally was adamant that I was not gay, and it was another one of my issues, and I was going through this phase. She also mentioned my age and said there was no way I could even know at my age…

And the worse thing was this was never brought up again and contributed a lot to my fear of coming out back when I was 15. it made me scared of being myself. It caused me years of questioning myself and hating myself. It caused me emotional trauma and distress. I had trusted, but that was all thrown away.

-> You Might Also Like reading about Coming out gay 4 times My Journey Escaping The Closet

If someone says they are gay, bi, transgender, or anything else, please take this seriously. Do not ridicule them, do not tell them it is a phase. You do not even need to acknowledge it much. But whatever you do, not be a Sally

8 Months Into My First Foster Care Placement

Eight months in, and the hell was almost over, Social Services had finally found my subsequent placement, and we were in the process of meeting and greeting as well as transferring over. I was aware that in a matter of months, I would be in a much better placement. One more catered for me. And one that would last a lot longer 🙂

Meeting Carol And John For the First Time

After school, carol took me home from school to show me around her house and where I would be staying. It was a massive house, and I would be sharing with two other older Foster children at the time. Carol‘s children had already moved out and lived in their places, but I would have plenty of opportunities to meet with them after the move.

9 Months At My First Foster Care Placement

It was sure of the move around this mark that we were now just waiting for the next half term to make a move as smoothly as possible. I was a bit impatient and rude at this point. I was just fed up and wanted to move in with Carol and John 🙂

Moving To My Second Foster Care Placement

I remember being dropped off at school for the last time. Nothing was said; it was stale, but as soon as I got out of that car, I chanted, “YAY About time 😀 no more, sally” while jumping up and down in excitement. The last day at school made it better, meaning I had a whole week during Halloween to settle in.

Read the next part of the story -> My Second Foster Care Placement With Carol And John