Message i sent to my Father 27/01/2023
honestly Father – i think we should move on and part ways, the more i study my past the more i realise that deliberate or not you have caused over 75% of my Trauma, i know you had your own trauma and i can’t fault you for that,
But I can fault you for causing my trauma. You’ve had ample chances to turn your life around but instead you drag us down with you, and all of your kids now suffer the effects of mental health.
You was hospitalised last year after your mental health breaking down and had a great chance of finally getting the help you needed and rebuilding your life and finally becoming that “changed man” you’ve always promised your kids, instead you kicked up a fuss and made them discharge you for not co-operating. even worse, you picked up the phone and tell me you was going to slit you neck knowing i had a genuine past of self harm, and depression.
I was such a bad kid, you was even willing to just put only me in care, but have you ever thought of why when you always showed aggression towards me and my family? can you believe that my youngest memories of you include, smashing mums living room window, getting arrested constantly, pushing mum down the stairs you strangling and hitting us. We were harmless innocent kids, but in many occasions you striped that from us and installed fear and anxiety into us.
it was funny because i shocked you didnt i back when i was staying with my friend glen, you thought you would try and install that fear and try pushing me down the stairs like you did with mum, not knowing i was a grown adult now and more then willing to defend myself…
i can’t even count the amount of times you’ve disowned me, for texting you in capitals or saying something that you don’t agree with, the truth is you’ve never been a dad to me… your barely even a father.
Whilst I’m at it Father, you’ve been clearly ready to move on from me for ages, hence why i’ve distanced myself from you. every time i see you in person i sit there uncomfortably agreeing to every word you would say. most times not even listening, because of that fear of confrontation and the fact your always right.
and when i forgot you on Christmas, and fathers day and your birthday it was intentional, because the last few messages i’ve received from you you talk about your new family, and even refer to me as your mate… so you’ve already accepted me as not being your son which is great.
Thank you for Conceiving me, and allowing me to have life. But i never want to have contact with you again, if you see me in the street. Ignore me, please don’t message or text me because it would be harassment.
if you want to read up on how you’ve affected my life, please check my chornology. because absolutely everything is getting published. and this will be the only way for you to keep up to date with me…